Realization...

I was studying in the Scriptures and the Conference Edition Ensign today and felt to read my patriarchal blessing. I studied it out and then prayed to my Heavenly Father very earnestly about a few things that I've been struggling with. Very few times in my life have I poured out my heart like that to my God in prayer...

But while I was praying and thinking a scripture and a thought to accompany it came to my mind... I looked up from my bowing head to see 2 pictures in my room. One of Christ the Savior Walking out of the Tomb on that First Easter morning, and the Second of Christ when He shall return to this Earth, His Arms stretched out, clearly showing the scars of His Crucifixion. I thought of the scripture, It must be found in other places but where I found it was, Doctrine and Covenants 45: 51-52

51 And then shall the ^aJews ^blook upon me and say: What are these ^cwounds in thine hands and in thy feet?

52 Then shall they know that I am the Lord; for I will say unto them: These wounds are the wounds with which I was ^awoundedin the house of my friends. I am he who was lifted up. I am Jesus that was ^bcrucified. I am the ^cSon of God.

I've always thought, that His arms would stretch out and show the Jews his Scars as if to say "Look what you did to me, your Christ, your King." I realized this was wrong, oh so wrong... He would show the Scars of his suffering not for chastisement, but instead as if to say "Look what I did for you, your Christ, your King."

Oh how my heart aches to be enveloped in the Arms of my Savior.

D&C 10: 65-66

65 For, behold, I will ^agather them as a hen gathereth her chickens under her wings, if they will not harden their hearts;

66 Yea, if they will come, they may, and partake of the ^awaters of life freely.

These thoughts and ideas have brought so much peace to my heart, I wanted to write it down before I forgot, I also wanted to share it with anyone who might find use of it! The Church is True, The Gospel is REAL and moving forward like a stone cut out of a mount! It WILL fill the whole earth one day! I am so grateful for it and the guidance, comfort, and peace it brings me!

Those Sweet Moments :)

So today.... and these last couple days. But mostly today.. I've been spending time with my family... And I've been hit a few times with such tender moments of peace and joy.. I really can't describe it, but I just felt how much my Heavenly Father loves me and our family and how much he has blessed us. I could feel how pleased he was with us. I love this time of year possibly just for these feelings of family and togetherness... I love my Savior and how much he sacrificed for me and my family. I love how far we have come as a family and the beautiful times that we get to enjoy together! I think I've also really enjoyed the TRADITIONS this year. Traditions are what keep a family coming back year after year on these holidays. The sweet memories accompanied with these traditions will last us all a life time.. Its so much fun! :D I'll put pictures up with this later! :D

Merry Christmas Everyone! :D

Attempt #2

This shoot was actually really special to me. This is actually my brother Landon and his 2 kids Kaylyn and Dallas! I cannot believe that I went almost 5 years with only talking to my brother Landon on occasion. And even more unbelievable is a I only met this dear boy Dallas about 6 months ago and these two kids are so close to my heart.. They have the warmest hearts and the cutest smiles EVER! I had a lot of fun experimenting with these guys... This shoot was especially special to me because we are in the middle of a custody battle for these two sweet spirit and I pray dilligently that they get to stay here with us!

Thanks Landon for letting me test the waters! :D

PHOTO-graph-Y

blaaaahhh!!! I'm really bad at blogging, because everytime I think to blog I feel like what I have to say is not even worth the time of day!! hahaha but oh well, I need to get over that... And I don't really have anything to say today.... Just to SHOW! wahoo...

So for my eighteenth birthday/Graduation present... My parents gave me a belated gift.. But the wait was all the more worth it, because they gave me a Nikon D3000 SLR camera.. You know, one of those cool big nice ones... the ones that people tell me time and time again after they use my camera that it isn't worth the $600 if I can't even look through the display screen to take a picture! I must explain to them every time, no sir (or mam) you have to look through the little eye hole, just like those camera's you used in the 90's.. Remember? yeah... THAT kind of camera... Long story short.. its super spiffy, and I love it, and I've always been into photography but never really had the outlet or the opportunity to get into it. But just a couple weeks ago my friend Kristyon's mom asked me to take their family photo's before he goes on his mission... I nervously abliged.. I wanted to take then but I get so nervous that people hate my work it always cripples me! So This is my VERY FIRST shoot EVER! I went into this knowing little to nothing about posing, lighting, editing.. ANYTHING.... but we will see from here...



So to the shoot, I loved it... It was so fun, the family is so awesome and fun to take pictures of... Don't forget, their all red heads... Can't go wrong with that! They always look fly! so here are some results... Keep in mind this is my first time but I would LOVE some constructive critisism on how to maybe pose them better? edit it better? anything you feel you want to tell me! I would really appreciate it!

Best friends are far and few... But a friend like this, is one in a million!

So... I had a discussion with a very dear friend recently. And I was thinking about her tonight and how wonderfully wonderful she is! She was and is and will forever be my very best friend I could ever ask for!

But while I sat and pondered about her.. I thought of how surreal growing up really is. This friend was an answer to my many fervent prayers. and for the 5 years since then, she has continued to be the answer I needed many of times.

You always have those "best friends" in high school that you spend every second of every day either with them or texting them.. and those kind of friends are always very fun, but from experience, they fade. Things change, life happe

ns, and for one reason or another you can't be with them 24/7, so they move on, and lets be honest, so do you... And thats why this friendship has always been so special to me and so unique.. Of course we had times when we spent a lot of time together. Mostly in middle school when we were both loners and had no other friends.... But as we progressed through high school our life and interests changed. I got into running a she got into soccer.... We went our seperate ways, but when I was around her, it was as though things had never changed! And without fail she was ALWAYS there when I needed a favor... Always there when I was having a hard time.... Always there when I needed a foot massage after a long race, or help making Student council posters and getting high when I procrastinated until the night before..

I had a much different friend then your typical high school fair weather friends.. I had a 3rd sister! We went through a lot together.. and I must admit, she was a much better friend than I was... But i'm grateful that she's forgiving and loves me anyways!

I know what you may be thinking.. "your husband is always suppose to become your best friend", but I'm talking besides that, Cause lets face it, you gotta have someone to vent to about those darn men!! haha but a Husband is a long ways away for a little soul like me... But for my best friend Olivia "Irving" Clayton (Watts) on the other hand.. not so much. She is getting married in just over 2 months! Words cannot express how overwhelmingly overjoyed I am! I am so happy for her and I must say, though I would never admit it to his face, I approve of Justin very much so. He is exactly what she deserves, and she deserves the best!

I'm kinda ranting... haha sorry this blog probably wont make sense to anyone but me, and maybe Olivia.. haha but even she might not get it.. Basically what I am trying to say is that I love her! Its a bitter sweet feeling to watch her go off and get married! More sweet than bitter.. Sometimes I wish we never grew up and we could stay those same dorky girls sitting in the front bench of the middle school! I'm so glad that no matter how spread out we get, how ever long we go without talking, she will always be my best friend, and I love her for that! :D

Life really does get ahead of you.

Wow, I am amazed how long it has been since my last post! What have I been up too you ask? Oh you know, just figuring out lifes toughest obsticals. But haven't we all? I've been laughing at times and struggling at others. Loving those in need and being loved in times of need...

I feel as though its just been one of those years.. I feel like I am heading out of 2011 crawling on my hands and knees.... But I know that I've been knocked down to be built up stronger. I know I have fallen to learn the pain of stumbling and the knowledge of being able to get back up. I most of all know, that with the Lords help, I will stand as tall, and taller, then I did before this. And I will look back on these times and trials, through out all of eternity, and see those loving hands of my Heavenly Father carrying me when I felt so alone.

I'm so scared for the future. I'm so scared for the unknown.. There as so many things so very near in my future that I have no idea about, and it scares me, to death. Decisions scare me,making them scares me even worse. But I will not face it alone.. What ever life has to throw at me, I have made a new determination to face it with my Heavenly Father right by my side. He is that constant, unchanging factor in my life I KNOW will always be there... Despite all the "unknowns", he is the one "known" thing in my life that I am so sure of. So with that said, I have decided to make a much more diligent effort at growing closer to my Heavenly Father in mind, Body, and Spirit. I still have a lot of unkowns, a lot of things to figure out, and a lot of unanswered questions. But through him who gives me strength, I can do all things.

What Matters Most is what Lasts the Longest

"Near the end of his life, one father looked back on how he had spent his time on earth. An acclaimed, respected author of numerous scholarly works, he said, 'I wish I had written one less book and taken my children fishing more often.' "Time passes quickly. Many parents say that it seems like yesterday that their children were born. Now those children are grown, perhaps with children of their own. 'Where did the years go?' they ask. We cannot call back time that is past, we cannot stop time that now is, and we cannot experience the future in our present state. Time is a gift, a treasure not to be put aside for the future but to be used wisely in the present."

-Thomas S. Monson

I had the opportunity today of going babysitting for a wonderful family from my home ward. I wasn't there for very long, but their home, and their family, left an impression on me. It was evident that they were striving their best to live the gospel and the be the best that they could be. They wanted to give their children the best future they could. They wanted to instill in them gospel principles in order for them to develop faith and a testimony to sustain them through the trying times that they will face in this world. It is so sad to see what children are already faced with at this age. My mom works in the nursery and she says kids are already catty, and acting like teenagers. The adversary is so cunning and the children of the rising generation are called to stand up to him, and to stand for what they know is right. These children have so much strength, but it is up to us to teach them that strength and perserverance.

I want to thank all those families out there that are striving to do their best, and to raise their children in the ways that they should go. I am greatful for examples like this family I tended for. Not a voice was raised while I was at their house, even when the kids misbehaved, it was just tender teaching. The kids respected me and behaved very well, and the moment the parents got home, they went outside to play and spend time with their children instead of getting wrapped up in things that don't matter, or last.

I hope one day to be able to strive to raise my family in such a way as this. I have a testimony of families and their divine purpose. I love my family so much. They are so good for me. Each one of us sent down to lift, and bless eachother, in order to be perfected and return unto him. We are on this journey with our families, I hope my family will be able to realize this eternal joy one day. And for those family members who are not quite headed in the right direction? I love them so dearly, I pray for them daily, I hope one day they realize how much I love them, and how much their Heavenly Father loves them, and because of this realization they will come to understand "If you love me, keep my commandments." (John 14:15) The battle between good and evil is waging. And families are our greatest weapons. I know this to be true.

"And they were all young men, and they were exceedingly valiant for acourage, and also for strength and activity; but behold, this was not all—they were men who were true at all times in whatsoever thing they were entrusted."- Alma 53:20

"...We do not doubt our mothers knew it." -Alma 57: 48